You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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