The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
