Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize