you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
