like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
