Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
