ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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