so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
