There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.