I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?