He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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