next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
