It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
