i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
