And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
