Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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