do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
