do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
