He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
