My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
