Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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