I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
