Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
