So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
