Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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