What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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