but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
