make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
