I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
