then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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