I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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