Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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