I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
