i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
