I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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