i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
