No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!