I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.