i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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