I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
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Boobs are out for the taking
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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