That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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