it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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