i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
