google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
