Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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