I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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