its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
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OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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