You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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