But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
farters have to be the big spoon...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
