A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
