1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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