Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
