Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
