dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
