Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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