you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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