whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he puts the penis in happiness.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
