the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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