last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
