i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
