i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
