His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
